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November 8, 2018

The need to be understood runs almost as deep as the need to be loved. I truly believe that.

Bryan and I try very hard to understand what it must be like to walk in Grace, Haven, and River’s shoes. We always have. But, the truth is, we will never fully know. The beginning of our lives looked very different than theirs. The beginning of each of their lives was marked by a great loss. An abrupt, unnatural parting. A seismic event. An earthquake of the soul with the potential to produce aftershocks and tremors that could be felt for years to come.

One of the reasons we have shared quite openly about our adoption stories is because we want our children to be understood not just by us, but also by their village of family and friends. Right behind our desire for them to be loved, is our desire for them to be understood. And how can we expect others to understand them if they don’t know anything about their past? So, we have shared. Rather openly.

As their parents, we view just about everything that they do through a special lens. It’s a lens that is theirs, and theirs alone. And it is tinted with what little we know about their pasts. Their differing lenses cause us to parent each of them differently. We try not to be one-size-fits-all parents, because there isn’t one single story running through our family. There are multiple ones.

I know that I speak for many adoptive parents out there when I simply say, “Thank you.” Thank you to those of you out there who continue to make concerted efforts to understand children who come from hard places. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Next to loving them, it is the best thing you could ever do for them. 💕




One Comment leave one →
  1. Luo Jiang permalink
    November 10, 2018 12:35 am

    Grace, Haven n River are blessed to have an awesome mother like you, really awesome !!!

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